i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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