i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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