Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I am midnight drunk by noon
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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