Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
