I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
