He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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