I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize