what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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