You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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