Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
