You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize