this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
