One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
