I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
