I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
