You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
