Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
