Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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