Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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