I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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