I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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