Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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