so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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