This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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