YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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