absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
