I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
