Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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