Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
