Welp...herpes.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
