Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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