no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
