If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
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the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
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My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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