I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
