i would punch a child for taco bell
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Randomize
