so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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