I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
we're making bets on your personal life
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
