Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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