I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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