No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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