i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
