found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
