WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
