omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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