i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
