and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
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My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
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BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize