worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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