Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
