I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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