The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
