I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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