Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
