Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
