Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
