awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Houston, we have a squirter
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
