i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I cut my penus on the lid.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Come on in and take your pants off
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
