I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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