Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
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I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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