We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
