What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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