did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
