What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
did you just send me my own nude
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
