im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
