ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
