you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
